628 lines
30 KiB
Plaintext
628 lines
30 KiB
Plaintext
==Phrack Magazine==
|
|
|
|
Volume Five, Issue Forty-Five, File 11 of 28
|
|
|
|
****************************************************************************
|
|
|
|
Ho Ho Con Miscellany
|
|
|
|
|
|
HoHoCon '93 review from the European point of view
|
|
<=====================================================>
|
|
|
|
This is Onkel Dittmeyer telling you his experiences at
|
|
the HoHoCon, which no-one really gives a @#*! about.
|
|
It might be fun reading anyway.
|
|
|
|
" Maybe I am just a lumpy coder, but at least my
|
|
dad is not selling WOMEN'S SHOES. "
|
|
|
|
- Guess Who
|
|
|
|
I arrived at the con one day too early, before anyone else
|
|
had showed up, and started striving through the
|
|
neighborhood. Well, this looked like fun. The Hilton and the
|
|
Super-8 were, along with a mall and a South Western Bell
|
|
building with light-at-night, wide open, overflowing
|
|
dumpsters situated between highways, a couple miles outside
|
|
of town. Cool. Used to Europe, where there is more public
|
|
transportation than cars on the street, I was kinda stuck in
|
|
there, so I spent my time chatting with the front desk clerk
|
|
of the motel ("Monty? Ahh, ya mean Monty from the hotel
|
|
security? Well, don't spread the word, he has a penis
|
|
problem.."). Everybody was able to confirm this a day
|
|
later during on a police raid, but let's save that for
|
|
later. So stuck between a WAL-MART ("SHOTGUNS! ON SALE! JUST
|
|
$99"), a movie theater and a cheap mall I spent this day
|
|
sipping complimentary tea at the front desk and watching
|
|
Wayne's World 2. ("A Unix Book. Cool.")
|
|
|
|
On the next day, all kinds of people started to flow in, and
|
|
I spent my time following around various people since I came
|
|
to the con alone, not seeing one familiar face around. I
|
|
bumped into Minor Threat and his trusty friend Mucho plus
|
|
a bunch of other guys trying to fix something with ToneLoc.
|
|
Walking around a little more, I ran into some dudes that
|
|
were busy hacking into the hotel's PBX using its 1200-bps
|
|
line.. Walking over to the Hilton, I found a tone in a wall
|
|
jack and called home. Still talking, hunger overcame me and
|
|
I decided to go to the mall and grab munchies. Walking past
|
|
the Hilton's pool, a kid was trying to fish his scanner out
|
|
of the water. Remember: A PRO-43 does NOT stay afloat! Later
|
|
that night, the whole place was pretty crowded already. It
|
|
was unreal. The lobby was crowded by at least two dozen
|
|
scanner-wielding kids, trying to find the frequency for the
|
|
hotel security. The guards must have been felt pretty
|
|
strange - each time they talked, something like five people
|
|
with frequency counters walked past them. Finally, the word
|
|
spread (466.025/825) and each time some guard started
|
|
talking, it was echoing back over everyone's scanner in a
|
|
two-mile range around the party place. I soon left the 3L3eT pIt
|
|
and hung out with AKA to play some stupid games ("Oh, there
|
|
is a calling card on the floor." "Where??" "You can't see it,
|
|
its eleet!") when we saw red and blue lights in front of the
|
|
Super-8 Motel. Three cop-cars had arrived, and they busted
|
|
an about 14-years old kid for scanning local numbers from
|
|
his motel room. While everybody stood around in front of the
|
|
room where they hold (or ABUSED) the kid, people were
|
|
thinking if this would be legal, arresting and squeezing
|
|
this kid with no lawyer and no parents around, they sped past
|
|
us with their victim, and someone told the kid that it was his
|
|
constitutional right to remain silent until he would get a
|
|
lawyer or at least a parent. And guess: The cops pulled the
|
|
guy out and told him that he should not stand around and
|
|
advise people about their constitutional rights. Quote:
|
|
" This is the manager, this is a police officer, I am the
|
|
security guard. LEAVE! " - "And I will NOT leave." Good
|
|
thing that someone was videotaping the whole thing. So much
|
|
action, and the con hadn't even started. Tired of so eViL
|
|
K-r0cKinG rAcIsM I stumbled to my room and fell asleep on
|
|
some standup comedy on TV. Tomorrow was the con!
|
|
|
|
The next morning around 9, I found the food court in the
|
|
mall crowded. It seemed like everybody on the con was going
|
|
to eat the last time for his life, or at least the last
|
|
time before the 6-hour Con-A-Thon started. Walking around in
|
|
the empty conference room, some hotel employee asked me
|
|
"HoHoCon? Is this like a Santa Claus meeting or something?"
|
|
Maybe it was just cause I wore a santa-hat. When Drunkfux
|
|
finally started the meeting one hour late I found myself
|
|
squashed in between some system administrator and another
|
|
guy from some three-letter-agency that typed everything that
|
|
was said into his laptop at something like 2.000.000
|
|
characters a second. Scared shitless, I was listening to the
|
|
events, still a little drowsy from very little sleep the
|
|
last night - I only remember Cap'n Crunch talking about
|
|
boxing in Russia (something that interested me, at least),
|
|
and the LOD members talking about some data preservation
|
|
project - if you are interested what in detail was talked
|
|
about, I'm sure Drunkfux will sell you the videotape for a
|
|
couple hundred $. In a break, he was selling merchandise,
|
|
and I think he didn't look more happy during the whole con
|
|
than in the moment everybody was waving with twenty-dollar
|
|
bills.. Phat pockets was also what the LOD guys were looking
|
|
for.. (just in case you don't know: They are collecting old
|
|
message boards and sell the printout for something like $35).
|
|
|
|
After this sellout session, I found a sign on the wall:
|
|
"hoho.con.com --->", and, in room 260 someone piled up an
|
|
enormous mass of equipment, including something like 4 UNIX
|
|
machines, a SLIP connection, 20" screens, PET's.. Plus, the
|
|
room was stacked with 30-40 people, and I mean STACKED. Most
|
|
people were wasting their time entering commands like
|
|
"mget /warez/eleet/hot/0-day/*.*" Sick of that, I grabbed a
|
|
bunch of people and we went trashing at SW-Bell around the
|
|
block, and whoops! we found a diagram like this:
|
|
|
|
|
|
(Europe) (Asia) (Australia)
|
|
|
|
______
|
|
____| |____
|
|
| |
|
|
| Texas o <====== Austin
|
|
\ /
|
|
\ /
|
|
\_________/
|
|
|
|
(North America) (South America)
|
|
|
|
Now we know it: South Western Bell believes that Austin, Texas,
|
|
is the center of the world. Well, from the 17th to the 19th of
|
|
December, 1993, it was.
|
|
|
|
TEN THINGS I LEARNED AT HOHOCON '93
|
|
|
|
1. Social-Engineering the front-desk clerk PAYS!
|
|
2. If you drink 20 cups of complimentary tea, they WILL hassle you.
|
|
3. If the guard hears his voice over your scanner, he WILL hassle you.
|
|
4. If you sign on as CLIFF STOLL and pay cash, they WONT hassle you.
|
|
5. Don't scan from a hotel room. But feel free to hack the PBX.
|
|
6. Pizza Hut accepts all major credit cards.
|
|
7. Austin, Texas, is the center of the universe.
|
|
8. Some people really want room service in a Super-8 Motel.
|
|
9. A radio shack is not lighter than water nor water-proof.
|
|
10. Barney is a purple penis.
|
|
|
|
Shouts to Tr8or and SevenUp: Why didn't you join me?
|
|
Write to onkeld@ponton.hanse.de for further discussion....
|
|
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
Conference Behavior - a Study of the Lame and the Damned
|
|
|
|
by Holistic Hacker/R2
|
|
|
|
[This little file was inspired by a talk Phantom Phreaker and I had at
|
|
HoHoCon last year, after some of the stupid shit that went on at it and
|
|
SummerCon. The rough draft was written on my laptop on the flight back
|
|
from Austin.]
|
|
|
|
It seems some little kids are having problems figuring out how to act
|
|
at the various hacker cons around the country. Hacking has nothing to do
|
|
with how many smoke bombs you can drop in the hotel or how many fire
|
|
extinguishers you steal. If you lamers think that being away from mommy
|
|
for the first time in your life means that you can trash a hotel, then do
|
|
it. By all means make it a local one first, so Mom and Dad can bail your
|
|
sorry ass out of jail.
|
|
|
|
I get really tired of going to a con and some little punk wants to play
|
|
eleet anarchist and then the cops show. Cons are a chance to learn and/or
|
|
share info, see people, and have a good time. Shit like what has happened
|
|
this last year just isn't needed. All that comes out of stupid actions is
|
|
a bad rap on the "underground." Some friends and I were in the hotel bar
|
|
Saturday night and the bartender was telling us how the hotel people were
|
|
really getting tired of the lame shit.
|
|
|
|
I was in one room Saturday night, swapping files and talking when the
|
|
smoke alarm went off at 3 AM or so. I bet whoever did it got a real kick
|
|
seeing all of the people up, and he probably creamed his jeans when the
|
|
fire truck showed up. Emergency personnel don't need to waste their time
|
|
on wannabe anarchist weenies, it isn't their job.
|
|
|
|
Another brilliant soul decided to set off one of the fire extinguishers
|
|
in the Super 8. I saw other jerks trying to wake up the people on the top
|
|
two floors of the Hilton at 2 in the morning. I saw another guy carrying two
|
|
extinguishers off, and he didn't look like hotel staff. Another genius
|
|
tried cutting a hole in the vending machine with a glass cutter. Just
|
|
because it isn't your property means you can trash it. The fucked-up
|
|
elevator control panels, the damaged exit signs, etc. are costs the hotel
|
|
passes on to the customers and to us. Even worse, when the word gets
|
|
out, the hotels don't want the cons back. Why would they want to rent us
|
|
rooms, if they are just gonna get trashed? If this is how you want cons
|
|
to be, then hold your own.
|
|
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
All typos are intentional. The following summary of HohoCon 93
|
|
is based solely upon my perceptions and are subject to the laws of
|
|
physics. Take these comments as you see them.
|
|
|
|
By Frosty
|
|
|
|
First off, there was a $5 charge at the door. This also entitled you to
|
|
partake in the raffle offered of lame-to-cool objects. $100 would rig the
|
|
raffle in your favor. One person walked away with a full //e system, and
|
|
another with a 486 system.
|
|
|
|
The Conference ---
|
|
------------------
|
|
|
|
Bruce Sterling - A humorous talk that thrashed virii. Informed us of the #1
|
|
anti-virii person in Russia, Dimitri. Generously gave away
|
|
several copies of "The Hacker Crackdown" on disk.
|
|
Famous quote, "Information wants to be free."
|
|
|
|
Ray Kaplan - A humorous security consultant. Wants to establish a site for
|
|
security holes to be available. Had a brief Q&A session. Wants
|
|
interaction between the security consultants and hackers. Also
|
|
stressed protecting information and privacy.
|
|
|
|
Douglas Barnes - Representatives from CypherPunks. Works in cryptography.
|
|
Jim Famous quote, "I want to talk to my lawyer." Another
|
|
quote, "Hackers are requested to call between 9 and 5."
|
|
There are several Fidonet sites not allowing encrypted
|
|
messages to go through. The liability decreases with a
|
|
site allowing encrypted messages. ViaCrypt PGP is the
|
|
legal version of PGP. Another quote, "A triple DES file
|
|
is as good as unbreakable." Pushed the book "Applied
|
|
Cryptography." Working on a digital Credit Union.
|
|
System Administrators are not responsible for passing
|
|
codes. Quote, "The net perceives censorship and routes
|
|
around it."
|
|
|
|
Grayareas - Made a magazine plug. Looking for information for the 'zine.
|
|
|
|
Damien Thorn - Works on the 'zine "Nuts and Bolts." Talked about cellular
|
|
tracking and hacking. Informed that a cell hacking program
|
|
can be obtained from mkl@nw.com.
|
|
|
|
Captain Crunch - Talked on the San Francisco raves and how they utilized
|
|
aka John Draper networking and encryption to get their rave information out.
|
|
Gave history and information on hacking Soviet phones and
|
|
the KGB lines.
|
|
|
|
Simmion - Attendee from Moscow. Stated there was no evidence of virii being
|
|
highly prolific in Russia. Almost all software is free in Russia.
|
|
Most conferences in Russia are done by BBS's. Russians can not
|
|
afford the high software prices legally.
|
|
|
|
LOD/Comm - Project information on their Digital Archive project.
|
|
Also, presented a cash donation to the SotMESC to help fund
|
|
a scholarship campaign for those involved in the hacking realm.
|
|
|
|
Erik Bloodaxe - Conversed about wireless modems and Email networks.
|
|
|
|
The Omega
|
|
White Knight - gave out copies of a government document on UFO coverups.
|
|
|
|
Count Zero - Members of the cDc/RDT. Handed out fliers and gave a packet
|
|
Kingpin radio demonstration. Informed they would be coming out with
|
|
the 'Jolly-Roger Dialer' for $80 approx. that would be better
|
|
than the 'Demon-Dialer' offered by Hack-Tic.
|
|
|
|
Brian Oblivion - Conversed about legalities and the Clipper Chip.
|
|
Informed us that the EFF is not promoting help on court
|
|
cases ( they're too big ). Quoted, "The Internet is the
|
|
collective consciousness of the community." Quoted
|
|
Compuserve that, "The Internet is sewage."
|
|
|
|
|
|
Errata
|
|
------
|
|
|
|
The Unix at the Super 8 Hotel was hacked.
|
|
Room 293 at the Super 8 was raided the day prior to the conference starting.
|
|
A LAN was set up in 260 at the Super 8 ( Thanks Georgia Tech ).
|
|
Kudos to Annaliza / Torquie for filming the conference for her documentary.
|
|
Kudos to 'Vibe' for giving away free shirts to the public.
|
|
DO NOT leave anything expensive out, it will be stolen !!!
|
|
Kudos to Malicious and his group for being the friendliest hacks.
|
|
Kudos to Grayarea, who will be providing her coverage of the Con.
|
|
The Techno-Porn party the SotMESC sponsored went well through the night.
|
|
Many thanks to the mall-girls that showed up to lend themselves to the masses.
|
|
Cold Pricklies to whoever set the fire alarms off Saturday night.
|
|
A big question mark to whoever acquired the large 30' inflatable balloon.
|
|
Warez Boards -> 214-642-0003 NUP: flying man
|
|
214-642-1940 / 264-6269 NUP: london run
|
|
817-551-5404 NUP: none
|
|
|
|
THE CHEAP-SEX AWARD
|
|
-------------------
|
|
The personnel in room 508 at the Hilton that provided strippers,
|
|
but enforced a door-charge and sex-charge for services.
|
|
|
|
THE MOST OBNOXIOUS PERSON AT HOHOCON 1993 AWARD
|
|
-----------------------------------------------
|
|
The AT&T person who took pictures of EVERYONE
|
|
in the line going into the conference center.
|
|
|
|
A Gif of this individual will be provided later =:)
|
|
|
|
This is just a 'Spur of the Moment' release.
|
|
We look forward to view-points from other sources.
|
|
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
HoHoCon '93 - Out With A Bang January, 1994
|
|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
|
by Winn Schwartau (Page 8) (Security Insider Report)
|
|
|
|
The hackers did it again. A monster party, several hundred strong, where
|
|
hacking was the agenda. HoHoCon is the annual hacker's convention in Texas,
|
|
where all hell breaks loose. December 17-19 in Austin was the host of this
|
|
last one.
|
|
|
|
According to the hackers, it was a great party; the ethernet lines were run
|
|
between rooms; the net was connected, and everyone consumed mass quantities
|
|
of their favorite legal substance or controlled substance. One hacker was
|
|
busted, apparently, for breaking into the hotel's PBX system and dialing the
|
|
Planet Krypton (or some such place) and the cops sat outside the front door
|
|
just in case. In case of what? According to the hotel, in case of crazy
|
|
kids getting too crazy.
|
|
|
|
This last HoHoCon was the biggest yet; estimates from 250-500 people attending
|
|
to learn about hacking; keep tabs on the hackers; or hack themselves into
|
|
position of respect amongst their peers. One attendee took roll after roll
|
|
of photos of hackers; some hackers got paranoid, others laughed at him hiding
|
|
behind pillars and jumping out to snap a pix. Whatever.
|
|
|
|
On the other hand, some security professionals who attended were absolutely
|
|
aghast at what they saw; wild kids, with no reins, breaking into computers
|
|
over the net is not fun nor legal. The drug and alcohol consumption was
|
|
too extreme, and the messages and conference sessions somewhat disorganized.
|
|
But, nonetheless, not one person I spoke to said they wouldn't attend again
|
|
next year. So there must be something to it. Even legendary phreaks like
|
|
John Draper aka Captain Crunch were there, despite his tenuous hold on
|
|
reality and emanating odor.
|
|
|
|
This was the minority, though, and most security pros said they picked up a
|
|
few tricks here and there. HoHoCon next year, the organizers fear, will
|
|
turn legit if too many 'suits' come so they have to promote the event better.
|
|
Next year's HoHoCon won't be held until January of 1995, making attendance
|
|
easier for those who have Holiday conflicts.
|
|
|
|
We'll keep you informed.
|
|
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
HoHo Con '93
|
|
by Erik Bloodaxe
|
|
|
|
It was the eve of HoHoCon 93 and I found myself caught in a serious
|
|
dilemma. I had promised to provide this year's "entertainment" yet
|
|
I knew I was going to back out of it. I had received about a million
|
|
emails and chat messages bugging me about the "bondage show" that was
|
|
supposed to transpire that Saturday night and had tried my hardest to
|
|
give them little or no commentary, knowing full well that I was going to
|
|
flake out at the last moment.
|
|
|
|
So here I was, driving towards the Austin Airport Hilton, trying to come
|
|
up with excuses about why there would be no show to some 300 hormonal
|
|
sociopaths. Every scenario seemed bleak: "Phrack Editor Vivisected!"
|
|
"Hacker Revolt Leaves Three Dead, 15 Wounded." I tried to blow it off,
|
|
consoling myself that no one would really give a shit, and that it was
|
|
only my own ego that demanded that I fulfill the promise of sleeze.
|
|
|
|
Upon arrival at the Hilton, I was amused to find some 30 or more
|
|
miscreants milling about the lobby, amusing themselves with house phones
|
|
and sordid tales of last week's hack. As usual, there was not a
|
|
payphone to be had, a direct result of the numerous Radio Shack dialers
|
|
on hand (model 43-141).
|
|
|
|
I mingled somewhat distantly, looking for Chasin, Tcon, Lex, Drunkfux or
|
|
anyone else I needed to talk to. Of course they weren't there. I was
|
|
beginning to wonder how in the hell I could pass the time when I was
|
|
paged by Lex.
|
|
|
|
Lex Luthor was staying a safe distance from the main fracas. In typical
|
|
Luthorian paranoia, he was determined to not have his name on anything,
|
|
such as car rental or hotel room, so by staying just far enough away he
|
|
hoped to not have his name on any arrest reports either. Lex, Professor
|
|
Falken, Al Capone, Mark Tabas, The Mentor and I were all supposed to
|
|
have dinner that evening. After getting Lex's room information, I took
|
|
off to get Mentor.
|
|
|
|
Getting everyone together was somewhat of a clusterfuck. Tabas was
|
|
located at the bottom of a 151 bottle, but surfaced in time to grab
|
|
dinner.
|
|
|
|
During dinner at Baby Acapulco's, as the award-winning waitstaff lost
|
|
most of our orders, Mentor reminisced about some of my more unbalanced
|
|
teenage moments such as: the time I cut the break cables on a Mercedes
|
|
because its owner had made the moves on my evening's female target, the
|
|
knife and gun wielding passout on the railroad tracks, etc. He ended
|
|
with, "You sure have changed. I'm surprised you aren't dead."
|
|
|
|
I suddenly felt old. It would not be the last time I felt that way that
|
|
weekend.
|
|
|
|
After dinner I decided to be a jerk and lash out at Tabas for insulting
|
|
my overinflated ego on the net. It accomplished nothing, except to further
|
|
distance ourselves but this evil voice in my head deemed it necessary.
|
|
We agreed to disagree and to try to put aside our numerous past
|
|
problems for the interim, although I doubt either of us believed
|
|
in the resolution.
|
|
|
|
Once back at the Hilton, things were beginning to heat up. Some hundred
|
|
or more conferees were loitering back and forth from the Hilton to the
|
|
Super 8 next door. I finally managed to hook up with Chasin, Tcon, Koresh
|
|
and Louis Cypher in their room at the Super 8. Lcypher was enjoying what
|
|
would probably be his last taste of freedom, since he was due to ship out
|
|
to federal boot camp the next month.
|
|
|
|
Sometime thereafter, a score of people began running upstairs with
|
|
computer equipment, laughing to themselves. As would be typical, a short
|
|
time later several police cruisers showed up. The kids had broken into
|
|
a phone closet and ran extra lines to their room to either: a) run a bbs,
|
|
b) wardial the city or hotel, or c) prove once and for all they were the
|
|
dumbest people in attendance. A member of the Austin EFF chapter ran
|
|
about screaming about the rights of the accused. The police told him
|
|
that if he didn't shut up he would be going downtown as well. The
|
|
silence came instantly.
|
|
|
|
The appearance of police so soon on the first evening made several
|
|
people quite nervous, especially those guests with rather large pupils,
|
|
whose numbers were growing in abundance. They sat in their rooms with
|
|
the lights dimmed (or off) peering out the curtains wondering if the cops
|
|
would be knocking on their doors next.
|
|
|
|
Word reached us that KevinTX had shown up. In typical flair, Kev had
|
|
blown in straight from Las Vegas where he had just won some $20,000
|
|
playing Blackjack, and was in a very festive mood. Once we reached his
|
|
floor, we were greeted with the sounds of a dozen tropical birds in
|
|
terrible agony. Obviously "the tank" had been filled, and was being
|
|
rapidly drained.
|
|
|
|
Inside the room black plastic bags lined the floor giving the
|
|
appearance of a recent trashing run, but in reality were the
|
|
victims of an unforgiving blast of n2o. Some Andrew Blake film played
|
|
on the VCR Kevin and his crew had brought, and a new camcorder was being
|
|
erected to capture the planned debauchery on tape.
|
|
|
|
We asked Kevin how on earth they managed to wheel in a 20 lb tank of
|
|
nitrous through the lobby and up to the room without being questioned.
|
|
Kevin said they put it under a jacket and just walked right through. I
|
|
wondered how long it would be before everyone else began wheeling in
|
|
kegs.
|
|
|
|
I begged everyone not to put the bags over their heads, as resuscitating
|
|
any potential asphyxiation victim was not in my agenda. (Quick flashback
|
|
to a blue-faced man spasming from oxygen depravation, "No really officer,
|
|
I don't know why he put that bag on his head and went to sleep.")
|
|
Besides, it would be too far to drag a dead body down to the dumpster
|
|
from the hotel room without attracting suspicion.
|
|
|
|
The tank was drained and the crowd dwindled.
|
|
|
|
Reflecting upon the altered states of those wandering almost zombie-like
|
|
around the hotels, I decided that if anyone were to be raiding the con
|
|
it should be the DEA rather than the FBI.
|
|
|
|
I arrived at the con the next morning lugging a box full of my t-shirts,
|
|
ready to make the rent. In the conference room Bruce Sterling was in the
|
|
middle of an incredible rant about the evils of Virii. I don't know what
|
|
the hell he was talking about. I'm not quite sure if anyone did, but
|
|
I got the impression that he got zapped. A note to the kiddies: don't
|
|
copy that floppy!
|
|
|
|
At the door, dFx was busily commandeering the five dollar "voluntary
|
|
contribution." I asked him how the take was and he whipped out a stack
|
|
of money that would choke an elephant. I asked him for my share
|
|
for being his marketing and advertising rep. The money and dFx disappeared.
|
|
|
|
Damien Thorn of Nuts & Volts, whose column is the ONLY reason I subscribe,
|
|
took the stand and talked about the magazine and his column. I
|
|
jumped up and asked him about his involvement with Phoenix Rising
|
|
Communications, and suggested they not use the name "The Phoenix
|
|
Project" as their BBS name. Damien seemed somewhat apologetic when
|
|
he said that he didn't realize that it had already been used in the past.
|
|
(Obviously Sterling's book didn't get read by everyone.)
|
|
|
|
I took off to find out where the casualties from last night were hiding.
|
|
After a lengthy and fruitless search for Chasin, Tcon or KevinTX, I stumbled
|
|
back into the con area just in time to find out that LOD Communications would
|
|
be hitting the podium next.
|
|
|
|
As we all wandered up front, (we being me, Lex, Tabas, Phantom Phreaker,
|
|
Professor Falken and Al Capone), an explosion of camera flashes shook the
|
|
conference room. It was the most ridiculous thing I have ever been a
|
|
witness to. I felt pretty sorry for Lex, who had managed to avoid
|
|
being photographed as "Lex Luthor" for his entire life, now being the
|
|
target of every butthead with a Nikon in the greater Austin area.
|
|
|
|
After we rambled about the BBS archive project, I got the chance
|
|
to give one of the worst presentations of my life. I will credit
|
|
some of this to the lack of display technology (mainly overhead projector
|
|
and VGA adaptor) but the main fault was my own. I spoke for a bit about
|
|
wireless wide area networking via commercial packet radio and about
|
|
services such as RadioMail.
|
|
|
|
Afterwards, Chasin and I introduced White Knight and The Omega who,
|
|
in typical cDc fashion, relayed the further adventures of "America's
|
|
Favorite Hacker: Quentin." At the end of their speech, they offered
|
|
about a dozen copies of Quentin's latest exposure of a government cover-up.
|
|
|
|
The madcap dash of reporters, hackers and various other would-be
|
|
co-conspirators to grab the sacred printout was like the closing scene
|
|
of "It's a Mad Mad World." The stage rush was not terribly unlike
|
|
my first Metallica concert: people diving over chairs, crawling over
|
|
heads, screaming, arms flailing. The only difference were the
|
|
reporters yelling "Press! Press! I must have a copy!"
|
|
|
|
The conference wrapped up with attorney Steve Ryan talking about the
|
|
sorry state of computer law.
|
|
|
|
Bernie Milligan of Communications & Toll Fraud Specialists from Houston
|
|
finally ran out of film. (Bernie, if you recall, was at HoHo '92
|
|
sitting at the back of the room with the Super Ear. I wonder how much
|
|
he gets for the photos. Maybe he just tacks them up on his wall
|
|
and has little fantasy conversations with them as he spanks his monkey.
|
|
I don't know.)
|
|
|
|
After the speaking was concluded, Weevil wandered over and asked me when
|
|
the bondage show would be going on. I told him that it would not
|
|
be happening. Weevil, still very elated over his rave reviews in
|
|
"Dazed and Confused," looked at me and in a stereotypical Hollywood-esque
|
|
display of confidence said, "Don't worry about it dude. I'll take care of it."
|
|
|
|
A 17 year old actor and would-be pimp. Yeah, right.
|
|
|
|
I got shanghaied by John Littman who was working on his book about Kevin
|
|
Poulsen, Agent Steal and friends. We talked for a bit, and I came to
|
|
the following conclusions:
|
|
|
|
5 REASONS WHY I AM LIKE AGENT STEAL
|
|
|
|
1. We both shared a knack for dating strippers.
|
|
2. We are both long haired, skinny, aging hackers.
|
|
3. We both know the value of a carefully placed camcorder.
|
|
4. We both have been the subject of investigations by the government.
|
|
5. We both have assisted the government.
|
|
|
|
5 REASONS WHY I AM NOT LIKE AGENT STEAL
|
|
|
|
1. I have both my original legs.
|
|
2. I only use Saran Wrap for leftovers.
|
|
3. I would never dress like any member of Poison.
|
|
4. I stopped breaking into buildings when I was 14.
|
|
5. I would never turn in my friends to save my own ass.
|
|
|
|
That evening as everyone was getting antsy, Frosty popped up with
|
|
his "Techno-Porn." Something like 24 hours of non-stop pornography
|
|
compressed into 6 hours. You'd have to see it to understand.
|
|
|
|
Everyone seemed to migrate towards 508, most likely a direct result
|
|
of the internal sex & drug divining rods built into the subconscious of
|
|
every attendee. Sometime around 9 or 10 in the evening, Weevil
|
|
showed up parading five very attractive, scantily clad young women.
|
|
The strippers made their way through the lobby of the Hilton evoking
|
|
a Pied Piper effect, dragging hundreds of drooling hackers in their
|
|
wake.
|
|
|
|
They managed to get into the hotel room unscathed. Outside the room
|
|
the crowds gathered, anxious to get a peek at the girlies.
|
|
|
|
The girls, meanwhile, got somewhat agitated, looking around at their
|
|
predicament. They had given up their Saturday night shift at Sugar's
|
|
Cabaret (an Austin upscale nudie bar) for the prospect of making some
|
|
easy cash at HoHoCon. Apparently Weevil exaggerated a bit about the
|
|
quality of the attendees in his fervor to coax them back to the hotel.
|
|
|
|
I, being a take charge kind of guy, asked the girls what they needed,
|
|
took some orders, and announced to the crowd that anyone who did not have
|
|
at least forty dollars needed to get the fuck out. Once word of the
|
|
necessity of money spread among the riot-like crowds swarming the 5th floor,
|
|
they became like Donn Parker's hair and thinned quickly and ultimately
|
|
disappeared entirely.
|
|
|
|
Zar took over the job of guarding the door and making sure that no one got in
|
|
without showing that they had cash for the girls, and KevinTX rounded up cash
|
|
from within the room and manned the camcorder and radio. After a few beers,
|
|
everyone loosened up and the show began.
|
|
|
|
Soon, there were topless women everywhere. There were "table-dances"
|
|
happening on the toilet, there were women on the beds, and grinding away
|
|
on the floor in front of a mirror.
|
|
|
|
It was the kind of thing that I'm sure Dr. Mitch Kabay would be shocked
|
|
and dismayed by, but unfortunately he wasn't in the room. Perhaps
|
|
he didn't have the cash to get in.
|
|
|
|
Everyone in the room was having a blast. Consultants, reporters, and hackers
|
|
all equally sharing in the debauchery. Zar gave new meaning to the word
|
|
"man-handling." I can only thank God that I had sold all my shirts,
|
|
so I had cash to spare.
|
|
|
|
The night went on, the beer flowed, the dopamine inhibitors kicked
|
|
in full force, and the money changed hands faster than could be counted.
|
|
By the end of the evening, everyone had received several "table dances,"
|
|
KevinTX had whip marks on his back, Weevil had won my complete admiration,
|
|
and the girls made a small fortune. Each of the dancers walked away with
|
|
over $200 in cash. The biggest winner was a really hot little 18 year-old
|
|
named Cathy who raked in almost $400.
|
|
|
|
As the night drew to a close, the room emptied, the girls gathered up
|
|
their outfits and made for home, or paired up to go somewhere else.
|
|
|
|
I awoke Sunday somewhere else. No comment. (I couldn't anyway, since I
|
|
have no recollection.)
|
|
|
|
So ended HoHoCon.
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
Additional HoHoCon Reviews:
|
|
|
|
HoHoCon Review Spring 1994
|
|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
|
By Netta Gilboa (Gray Areas) (Page 30)
|
|
|
|
Rising From the Underground March, 1994
|
|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
|
by Damien Thorn (Nuts & Volts) (Page 100)
|
|
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
(Vibe Magazine & Aasahi Computing to have articles soon)
|